I was the first awake, but I only learned the next day that Edith had trouble with her insomnia and didn't want to wake me up. In the process of going to the restroom of the warehouse, a trick to help her fall back asleep, she woke up my mother, who woke up y father, who all joined her in the warehouse to speak. For almost 45 minutes.

It helped Edith fall back asleep, and my father soon went back to sleep too, but of course not my mother.

Still, I followed the protocol we had unvoluntarily set when at the cabin: I left the camper in silence, and went to the restroom. The camper in the warehouse doesn't have a waste water hook up, so we have to walk down the warehouse to relieve our bladder.

I checked the hot tub, and it was cold. I wasn't allowed to go in it alone anyway. Apparently, before 16, you are seriously restricted because our skin is too thin.

It's my father who joined me, perhaps 20 minutes later. He had a big bundle of clothes in his arms.

"Sugar, we didn't sleep well. Edith had another nightmare and we helped her out. Let's get dressed, we'll go get breakfast and I will drop you at Olivia"

"Isn't it early?"

"It's almost 9, sugar. "

I looked at him. I never sleep that long.

"But..."

"No windows, the sun will never wake us up"

"Right. I guess I was exhausted"

"Sugar, your body is starting to turn you into a woman"

I looked down. My last count, from a few days ago, was 17 pubic hairs. Most were just emerging, but as I checked, I counted 22.

"Dad, that's like 5 more in maybe 3 days"

"I know. It's accelerating"

"Wow. I am happy. "

"Don't be too hasty, breasts can hurt growing"

"Dad, I don't care. I can't wait to see boys and stop feeling like a child"

"First, boys are overrated. Second, do you know when you will truly stop feeling like a child?"

"I don't know, 17?"

"Not even close"

"21?"

"Julie, I am 36, and I still often feel like a child"

"Really?", I say

"Not as often as you, but like, when Robert spoke to us, and then we spoke to you, it's not like there is a manual to tell you how to handle that as a parent. And then, when I ran into the maze with the guys, I was a complete child"

"You were"

"Let's get dressed, let's go eat, and I will drop you at Olivia"

"Thanks"

"Be nice to her."

"I will, I like her. I think she can become a good friend, and unlike Marge and Edith, and even Mindy, she is in my grade"

"Good. Can I provide a suggestion?"

"I won't tell her about naturism. I am not crazy. It's Mindy who told Edith and Marge. I wouldn't have"

"Good. So tell Mindy not to mention it then"

"Right, they don't know each other yet. Good idea"

We got dressed next to each other. My father's keys and wallet were in his jeans from last night, and it's when I realized I was wearing the same clothes as yesterday, but Olivia said nothing.

We ate at a small diner nearby where my parents sometimes eat when working in the warehouse. The breakfast is greasy: eggs, half cooked bacon and soggy toasts, but it filled my stomach. Ok, sorry, the bacon was cooked like usual in most restaurants, but I like mine with the consistency of potato chips. I am made like that.

I had left my school bag in the car, as well as the address for Olivia, but we made it around 9h50. We waited a little around the corner, and both of us went to the door to ring the doorbell on the small badly maintained house.

Olivia's mother answered. She looked rather trashy, to be honest.

"Yeah?"

"I am here for my tutoring with Olivia"

She turned. "Olivia? It's for you"

Olivia came running to the door. She is much better dressed than her mother.

"Julie! I was waiting for you. You must be her father"

"I am. Should I stay for the tutoring?"

"Oh no. I will focus on it, you don't need to be there. But I will give her homework, maybe help her out?"

"I will. How much do we owe you"

"Tutoring is free, sir. I get extra credit"

My dad takes out a twenty dollar bill he had left out of his pocket and offers it to her.

"Oh no, I can't accept that. Sorry", but she looks around, and says. "Let me shake your hand to thank you"

My dad get is, and shakes her hand with the bill folded in it. Olivia then discreetly lets the bill get in her pocket, smiling.

My dad said he will pick me up in an hour, but Olivia say that she will need two hours"

"Sure", my dad says, worried, looking at me. I nod and smile. I trust Olivia. She is nice, sweet and if we judged people on their parents, Edith would never have moved in with us.

We went directly to her room.

Once in it, she picks up a teddy bear from her collection, and puts the $20 bill in a zipper under it. She also puts a finger on her lips, to make me not talk.

"So, here is the schedule. I will cover the material for 15 minutes. I will answer your questions on the material for up to 10 minutes. Then, it's exercises until 10h55. At that time, we take a pause for 10 minutes. We talk, we listen to music, we go take a walk outside, whatever you need to reset your energy levels. "

"Talking is fine", I say. I would like to undress, it always calms me down, but my dad is right. We don't know that girl that much.

"After the break, I have prepared the most complex exercise I ever made. A series of angles, or lines, I spent yesterday evening on it. I knew the solution, and it took me 10 whole minutes to solve it. You will have 20. Not one minute more. And I will tell you every minute."

I swallow, this is the most stressful method to do an exercise.

"While you do it, I will correct the exercises from before the break. I will not tell you when you are right, but I will sigh each time you are wrong."

"Wait, pause, are you trying to see if stress makes me worse at this?"

"Julie, if I say yes, it wouldn't work. So no, I just lack empathy"

So it is a stress test. Not a bad idea.

"And then?"

"It depends, if you completely failed everything, I will tell you to call your father and I will stop being your tutor."

I look at her, and she is avoiding my gaze. It is in still part of the stress test.

"Ok, let's start", I say.

She gave good training for those 15 minutes, and I only had a few questions once she was done, but I did ask two clarifications during the teaching.

I knew almost all she taught me, but here is the thing, she had a knack for turning what the teacher taught in the abstract, into something more concrete.

When it was 10h22, I began the exercises. I didn't finish them, I wasn't supposed to finish them. It wasn't a race, but most took about two minutes each. I did 18 of them!

When the clock turned 10h55, she stopped me in my 19th exercise.

"What do you want to talk about?". She said.

"How long did you work on those problems?"

"Not long. I got most from the internet. The next one, I spent about 3 hours"

"Holy shit, Olivia, you didn't have to do that"

"I did. I wanted to challenge myself. Do you know why I am so good at Math, Julie?"

"No"

"We got the Math book at the beginning of the year. I read it from cover to cover, learned the whole year in the first what, 3 weeks? And then, I have been doing all the exercise"

"But why?"

"What do you like to do more than anything else?"

I look at her. I can't say naturism. So I say. "Hang out with my friends"

"Well, I don't have friends. For me, it's Math. When I want to relax, I make Math problems and I solve them"

"Ok"

"Don't look at me like I am crazy. Do you play video games?"

"Yeah"

"Well, many are like math problems, You grind to level up, you get better tools, or gear, or weapons. You make puzzles. I would love to play video games, but look at my house. I don't have any. And if I got my hands on a console, it would be sold within days to pay for food. So my video games, are math problems, and reading the books, is my cheat code. And doing the problems, is me grinding to level up. Don't pity me, I am happy. I have enough math problems to keep my mind sharp and to keep me happy. "

"Do you eat enough?"

That was a left field question.

"I do", but again, she didn't look me in the eyes.

I asked her to tell me about her favorite problem, and it was like there was a sparkle in her eyes. A little like how a gamer can elaborate on a raid they did, or a soccer player like Billy can speak about a goal they scored.

I got almost nothing out of it. I couldn't understand anything. Later, I learned all of it, but it doesn't retroactively make me understand her problem. I wouldn't relate enough to memorize it then. But I remember her excitement, her pleasure at how the pieces fit.

I recall this. "The numbers made no sense, like it would eventually make irrational numbers, but then, some details had to be added and suddenly, I had 221 to put in 13 parts and bam"

"Bam?"

"13 times 17 is 221"

"Ah, I see"

But I didn't. Not then. But now I do! It's great when numbers like that align.

She didn't have much more to say. She doesn't watch television, she doesn't read novels, she doesn't play video games and she doesn't play sports. She does Math problems. And read Math books.

Now, it would be tempting to say that she is autistic too with a hyper focus on Math, but I know more today. She is neurotypical, just from another bad family, and Math is like her comfort food that lets her keep her sanity.

Math is objective, it's precise. It's simple when you get it. People are a lot more complex.

I start her problem, and she starts to review my 18 completed exercises. She sighs a few times, but I notice furtively that she doesn't mark mistakes each time. She is trying to trigger me. To make me lose concentration. And every minute, she tells me how long I have left.

But that's a part of school I excel at, drowning out the noise, the distractions.

My own distractions are on the piece of paper!

It's a complex shape, perhaps 20 different sections, it's like 20 different problems, where part of the values come from the previous problem.

Worse, I couldn't see where to start, but I could hear in my mind Olivia repeating to me for the second time: "Filter out the superfluous information. Focus on the data you need, and solve that. Then, repeat the process"

I also get in my head that this is not a 6th grade problem. This is more like a 10th grade problem for all I know.

But then I see it. The top-right corner. A triangle with a 90-degree angle, with two sides next to it being 3 and 4 inches. It's noted on the paper, which is not to scale. But that means the hypotenuse is 5 inches. That line is the side of a square of unknown length, but now all four sides are 5 inches. One of those sides is of a rectangle, so the opposite side is 5 too, and the another side is noted a behind 3 inches, so I now have all four sides.

Slowly, I note more and more of the sides, and realize that except for the start, everything is for the 6th grade, just in the sequence I am not used to.

This is easier than I thought! But then, I hit walls. I am still missing too many sides, and that's where the calculations begin.

Tough ones, well, for my age.

I managed to complete it in, like, 12 minutes. This is nothing compared to what it took her.

"I think I am done"

"You think you are done", she said, skeptical.

"I think so? I have all the sides, as demanded"

"Good. Now for part two"

"Part two?"

"Some sides have a dimension, right?"

"Yes"

"I want you to do it again, but by measuring the sides that have a dimension, and them, start over every calculation"

I look at her.

"I am serious. And just so you know, none of the sides with a number have the right length noted, and some of the scales were wrong. That first triangle? It's not 3x4. It's a different ratio"

"Why are you doing this?"

"If I tell you, it defeats the purpose"

"Did you come up with this on your own?"

"No, I did research, on the Internet, at the public library"

"Why?"

"It's my job as a tutor"

"Olivia, I am truly grateful for you"

She smiles. "Thank you"

So, I worked on the problem with a ruler, and yeah, I struggled. A lot more. Numbers made no sense, how can I use 2 and whatever part of an inch?

Olivia saw I was struggling, on the first triangle!

"You have centimeters on that ruler"

"So?"

"Try them"

I sighed and turned it over to realize that 2 and whatever of an inch is... 6cm. I check the others, and they arrive straight on centimeters or half a centimeter. 4.5 is easier to use compared to 1.75.

I still struggle a lot, and she stops me before I am completed, sharp on the 20 minutes.

"Ok, want to get some results?"

"Sure"

"Ok, first, your 18 and a half exercises. Those that were basically calculations, you did good. Really good. Those which needed measurements with a ruler or visual analyze, not so good. And like, you excelled at the first part of the last problem, and you were completely lost in the second"

"I don't think I was"

"Trust me, you were. The same discoveries you made the first time around, you missed the second. And I checked, even when I was adding pressure in the first part, you weren't as tense as in the second one, where I barely bothered you"

"Oh"

"Yeah. You have problems analyzing shapes. Not doing math. I can help you with that"

"Thank you"

"Do you know why I want extra credits?"

"No"

"To get scholarships to become a teacher. By letting me tutor you, I get better grades, and I increase my chances of going to a college for free because my parents, aren't going to help me"

"Sorry to hear that"

"Hey, I have two choices, I give up and despair, or I fight to get out"

"Well, I am proud of you for trying"

Julie, don't spoil anything. Olivia will have her own book, the next one. I can spoil it more there... Maybe. But it's a rough book.

Sigh.

She did give me more measuring exercises. I don't have a problem when it's only a few lines, and I succeeded those.

Slowly, as time went on, Olivia and I began seeing my limits. Her previous trick of using paper to block some of the sheet works. In fact, I still use it sometimes, but it's not a solution. It's a trick. Like using crutches if your legs are too weak to stand. My real solution, will be to train my brain to focus better.

I am 12, just 12. Soon to be 13, but still, I have so much to learn.

When my father came, I was starting to get the hang of it, and Olivia insisted that I take home the exercises I hadn't done yet.

I thanked her again, and she accompanied me back to the door, where my father also thanked her.

"Maybe you can come back next Saturday. Today was productive"

"Very productive, Dad, I learned a lot. Perhaps you could shake her hand again?"

"No need", says Olivia, all shy.

My father nods, takes out another $20 bill, out of view of the door, and slips it to Olivia, who thanks him a lot.

In the car, I apologized to my father.

"Did she really help you?"

"More than you can understand. She found out what my brain needs to learn."

"And her family is really poor?"

"I think she doesn't eat enough, and she isn't allowed to go see friends"

"Next time, let's bring her money, and some snacks, healthy ones, for you to study, but like, let her have them"

"Sure dad. Good idea"

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