I woke up confused, but okay. My headache was gone, and I remembered about last night.
I was still sad about Olivia and hoped she wouldn't move away. And then, I remembered that this is what I had a nightmare about.
The reality is that Olivia was my best textile friend. Sure, Marge might very well be a much better friend, but she was a naturist too now. And autistic. Apart from her sexual orientation, which was none of my business, Olivia was my most typical friend.
I got up before anyone, faked breakfast, and then practiced my dance routine.
I was getting it, I truly was, even some of the flourishes that I had failed to do, and I added a few for segments I forgot. In the end, I felt it was better to practice new ones than nothing at all.
When my mom woke up, she smiled, went to make herself a coffee, and put in the dishwasher the knife with margarine on it that I "forgot" to put in. I don't always do it, but I wanted to sell the illusion this morning. It had now been 36 hours since my last meal, and I intended to go for 48, when I would eat supper tonight. That would make my dancing costume fit even better.
It's only after I did a few repetitions that my mom spoke to me. My routine is only about 2 minutes, and she needed her coffee.
"Are you ok, kiddo?"
"I am! I am worried about Olivia, but I feel ready for Friday."
"And in general?"
"Oh yeah. I don't know what happened, but it seems I don't even need the Ritalin in class anymore."
"Good. Maybe you just gained a lot of maturity."
"Could be. Or I learned new pathways or something while on it."
"Yeah. It could be," she says.
"I told Olivia I could refer her to Carmen if things went south."
"Now that is a great idea, kiddo, but sadly, if her family is just poor, there isn't much she can do."
"I guess so."
My dad got up next, followed by Edith, and the morning routine began.
At school, I gave my lunch to Olivia after checking that she was okay, but then I almost got assaulted by a hug from Mindy once Olivia went her way.
"I tried to come see you yesterday, but you were always with her."
"Oh, sorry."
"I couldn't find you at lunch."
"I was on stage for the Friday recital."
"Right, I heard about that. Sorry, I can't be there."
"You can't?"
"I have family coming over. From my father's side. I am so pissed. I tried to bargain with my parents, but I have to be there. Sorry."
"Hey, it's not like you knew I was going to be at the recital."
"Oh, I did. But I didn't think we might be friends again."
"I didn't flush you, Mindy. I never wanted for us to not be friends."
She sighs. "It's my fault. I decided I couldn't be friends with textiles anymore, and you stopped being a naturist. I know I blamed you, but, you know..."
"Why? You didn't mind being friends with Marge and Edith, I mean, back when they were."
"Oh, I know. But like, I had stuff happen to me too, you know? My life didn't just stop when you were on your pill. I know you've had it rough since the nerf stuff and shit. But like, I didn't always have it easy."
"Oh, I am so sorry to hear that."
"Let's just say that this shitty town isn't ready for a teenager to be public about her naturism."
"Holy shit, you did?"
"Yeah. I made plenty of enemies that day that I used to consider friends. I know you only recently returned to naturism, but trust me, keep the lid on that. We have to get to class, but do you think you might be able to come to my place tonight? Not by bus, that would be social suicide, but like, with your parents?"
"Perhaps. And maybe next week, we can eat together?"
"I would love that, but I don't want you to get backlash from hanging out with the weirdo."
"Oh, shit, it's still going?"
"Well, I am still a naturist, so yeah. It's died down a little. Bitchface had to move out of town."
"Whom?"
"Oh a friend I had who stabbed me in the back. Anyway, come when you can."
"I'll try."
We quickly hugged and went on our way.
In science, I had a cool lab with Olivia, who wasn't fully there. She was still in shock. I did most of the work, which, sadly, gave me a headache. Damn it! Two days in a row.
But then, it was the quiz finale for social studies, or so it should have been. We ran out of time for 3 questions, none of which involved my team. We had asked out 8 questions and were asked 9 questions; we rounded to 10 on both today.
It was 100% clear that we won. We had a 7-point lead on second place. They had one question left to answer, but even if they got it (and they will), the most points they could get is 4 points: 2 for their question and both bonus points.
As it turns out, all 3 remaining questions the next day will be answered correctly, keeping today's ranking safe.
We won! That's wonderful. Today, it's me and Lyndon who answered the final questions we had, and it's Lyndon who asked the last ones we asked. Olivia wasn't fully deadweight, but almost. And it's fine. Lyndon knew she was my friend, and it's not like she slacked off in the preparations.
It's only later in the morning, in the corridor, that I thanked him for his understanding.
I will never forget what he replied to me. "Any good straight man knows that women have off days. If he cannot accept that, he should remain single."
"Right, for our PMS and periods."
"Exactly. It's part of the game."
That was very considerate of him. Seriously, I could see nothing wrong with him so far as a potential boyfriend. I still didn't outright desire him, but I knew deep in me that he would be a great boyfriend.
What Mindy told me, however, bothered me. When you date someone, you share intimate details. I fail to see how I could hide my naturism from him. Would he accept it? Would he become a naturist?
Marge said nothing about her dates and naturism. Billy was a naturist before he met Mindy. Charlie now has a naturist sister and two naturist parents. That's not counting the family of his girlfriend. It's not like he is isolated from it.
But I can imagine a world where Lyndon accepts my naturism and might even become one himself but has close-minded parents who pull us apart on that subject.
I can't hide much from my parents, so if he is the same, they will find out.
Don't look at me like that. It's true, I don't hide much. Just that I don't eat as much as they think I do. But it's my body. My weight. As naturists, their philosophy is that I should learn to accept my body. Well, I don't. I gained weight due to a pill to fix my brain. It's unfair.
I never wanted to gain that much weight, and well, I am on my way to fixing that.
Even before the Ritalin, I was looking forward to discovering boys. I now had most of my puberty; I had a boy interested in me, but I only heard about it after I lost my weight.
Coincidence? Perhaps. Perhaps not. Maybe if I were as fat as I was, he wouldn't have noticed me. I was grotesque, ugly, and disgusting. There. Are you happy?
So, all I am hiding from my parents is the amount of effort I made to return to how I was.
Ok, to be fair, it is a touchy subject. Even at 22, I am hurt by that weight gain.
But it gets worse. Way worse. I've known other people who lost weight. It doesn't matter who, but the point is, when you gain weight, your skin stretches. It gets bigger because you are bigger.
When you lose weight, your skin doesn't shrink, so it gets loose on you. Not if it's just a little weight, but a dramatic change like I did? Well, some of my skin might have become, well, loose.
The only reason it wasn't that bad is that I was still young, and I wasn't fat long enough or even fat enough to cause a huge problem.
Anyway, back to 2017. Sorry, it's not just that I am sometimes unreliable; it's that I am sometimes emotional about my past.
To my surprise, Mrs. Sanchez enjoyed my flourishes and liked that I was appropriating them. But the biggest surprise is that after 2 repetitions, she had to leave me so she could go supervise the other girls.
At first, I was alone, but I heard a noise. I went to investigate and found Victor working on the decor for another group.
"Sorry, you scared me," I told him.
"Oh, I didn't mean to. I just have more work to do."
"You do good work," I tell him.
"Thanks. It's what I hope to do when I grow up."
"Stage production?"
"Yeah. Especially making decor, lighting, and anything to improve the show. "
"Nice."
"What do you want to do as an adult?" he asked while still putting a screw on a piece of wood to solidify a background element.
"I want to become an environmental engineer."
"What is that?"
"Yeah, I get the feeling. It's pretty niche... Like, the city has one. He adds retention basins in town to prevent flooding."
"Oh, I saw that. They lowered a park near my place. So that's why?"
"Yeah. I am fascinated by that."
"Cool. And me by stage production. I feel like if you are not passionate about what you do, it's boring."
I laugh. "I know the feeling."
"Well, I'll let you practice. I need more wood," he says, leaving.
I return to my routine, but I ask myself. Were we flirting? I mean, was this just a casual talk? He was smiling and looking at me. Was it just polite "look at the person you talk to" or did he like what he was seeing?
I still didn't fully like my body, but I knew boys were noticing it more and more.
By the time my practice was over, Victor was gone, and we didn't talk more.
He is older than me, but like, by 2 years. Technically, Lyndon is also older than me, but by a few months. We are in the same grade; obviously, I was just born late in the year and started school late.
Imagine that... I was one of the oldest in my grade, sometimes by up to 8 months, and I still was the last by years to have my puberty.
Why am I thinking about that? Right, because I am starting to get close to boys.
When I got back home and I asked for a lift to Mindy, my mom surprised me. "I have to talk to Clara, so I'll go with you if you don't mind."
"Don't you have to work?"
"Well, yeah, but I don't think my bosses will mind," she says, laughing.
"Isn't it your company?" I ask her.
"Exactly. Dad and I are the bosses."
"But he is CEO, right?"
"Yeah, but he's not the boss of me," she says, laughing, as she goes into their room to fetch a sundress.
It's unfair that we are nude at home and will be nude at Mindy's, but we need to get dressed between the two. It is a little chilly, but we would be okay in the car.
I also put on my sundress.
In both cases, we are not dressed quite warm enough, but like I said, it's okay in the car.
Mindy was thrilled to see me, and she pulled me into her room before I could even remove my sundress. So I did before sitting on her bed.
She wanted to know what she missed from my life. Well, it's episode 75 until now, so I won't repeat everything. I was mostly honest.
I asked her what I missed, and in short, she is on Alesse too now, but for a different reason. She is sexually active with Billy, but this time, the reason I won't give you details about this isn't to respect her privacy. Instead, I will not give you details about her sex life, because I got none. Nothing. Just, "Hey, I take Alesse too. You know, to not get pregnant." That's the whole part of that conversation.
And honestly? It suited me perfectly.
Marge needs a neurotypical sounding board sometimes, so if it's me, I'll play my part. Mindy doesn't need that at all.
I'll provide some details I now know as a 22-year-old. Mindy can fully talk about her sex life with at least Clara, if not Clara and Peter. This isn't the case for Marge. Could Ellie sit down with Marge? Probably. Can Marge sit down with Ellie? Not at all. And not because of Ellie.
I think that Marge has this idea in her mind that the relationship she had with her mother is one of a child with a parent and that opening up about her sexuality will break that relationship.
Wait, that wasn't clear enough. Marge told me that. Explicitly. What I think the conditional is is whether it is true or not. I think that it's just some sort of paranoia from Marge, but she thinks it's a fact. I am not sure which one it is.
The big news, however, the one I didn't see coming, is that James, Billie's father, is dating.
"He got a new girlfriend?"
"Not exactly," says Mindy.
"I don't understand."
"He got a boyfriend."
"He's gay?"
"No, he's not even really bisexual."
That got me confused.
"But his boyfriend is?"
"Oh yeah, Rick is full-on gay. Never dated a woman. And he loves James, that is for sure."
"Wait, so how does a straight man date a gay man?"
She laughs. "Ok, so James wanted to rent a cabin at our resort."
"Well, he did, didn't he?"
"Yeah, but for small moments. They don't want single men, like, at all. He could visit with an invitation from my parents, but then it's limited."
"Ok, that's unfair, but ok. How does Rick come in?"
"Well, he knew Rick from the non-landed club. Rick cannot go either since he is now single, but he could when he was with his ex-boyfriend."
"So gay couples are welcome, but not single guys."
"Exactly. So James proposed to fake being a couple so they could both go," says Mindy.
"Ah, right. A loophole."
"Only Rick fell in love with James, and somehow, James ended up dating him."
"Maybe he was feeling lonely."
"It's quite possible. Rick is nice. I like him. More than James."
"For real?"
"James had anger issues. Less now; Rick is helping him out a lot."
"Good. And Billy?"
"I think a lot of his own anger issues came from his dad. He looks up to him, you know?"
"I do."
But I think the most significant change is that Mindy sort of calmed down. I think that she is maturing and is less, I don't know, volatile?
Or perhaps I have more patience?
She is also less shackled to Billy. She gained some independence from her boyfriend so that she isn't non-stop with him.
That's good too.
It's Mom who came to fetch me. It was time to go eat. She already had her sundress, so I put mine on and hugged Mindy.
I will try to repair my friendship with her now that I am back to naturism and she is back to seeing friends and not just her boyfriend.
On the car ride home, Mom mostly talked about the upcoming Halloween event. Odds were low for a new heat wave, but we could always hope.
I'll admit it. I had a big meal. I ate with appetite, but after 48 hours without food, it's like my stomach had recovered.
I ate every supper, and look at that, no headache. On Thursday, I did go for a lighter meal to prepare for the show. I was just hoping not to be bloated.